The time between
Have you ever longed for someone but knew you were separated from them by their will or their circumstances, and you were at their mercy? No matter how much you longed for things to be different, your longing couldn't solve the situation or bring the desired resolution. Maybe it was a job you knew you would be perfect for, but you couldn't convince them to bring you on. Perhaps it was the desperate desire for someone to be healed; instead, you watched them slowly deteriorate day by day. Or maybe, just maybe, you longed with every fiber of your being to be in a relationship with someone, whether romantic or not, and they couldn't or wouldn't reciprocate. Perhaps it was their addiction they chose over you, or maybe they didn't "love you like that," or, worst of all, it could be you did something that broke the relationship. You know "it will just never be the same." Do you remember the angst and feelings of helplessness mixed with painful desire?
Jesus knows that feeling too.
Easter week is probably my favorite week of the Christian year. It starts with Palm Sunday, where we sing and celebrate the triumphal entry of Jesus into Jerusalem. It moves through remembering the last supper, his crucifixion on Good Friday, and finally(!) celebrating Easter morning and the hope our world has because of it. It is a week of every emotion, every stage of faith, and everything beautiful and horrible about humanity. It is an amazing week…and right in the middle of it is a story of Jesus' longing we often forget to tell.
During this "Holy Week," the Gospel accounts describe Jesus doing several days of ministry in Jerusalem. He is turning over money tables, giving various teachings, debating with the Pharisees, and performing miracles. At the end of one of those days, Jesus and his disciples are heading back to where they will sleep. He just finished arguing with religious leaders. I picture him heading to the Mount of Olives, glancing back over his shoulder at the city and feeling that deep longing mentioned above. Matthew records Jesus uttering these words:
"Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her. How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing! See, your house is left to you desolate. For I tell you, you will not see me again until you say, 'Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!" (Mt. 23:37-39)
Can you hear the longing, the desire, the pain, and maybe even helplessness in Jesus' words? He is longing for an intimate, relational connection with those he deeply loves who can't, or won't, reciprocate. It is the heart cry for genuine relationship from the God of the universe toward us. But it is also deep grief at the way our refusing to love him is destroying us. He has so much to offer, but instead of choosing him, they choose desolation, and it breaks his heart.
The crowd, then and now, represents humanity's brokenness--we see ourselves in the crowd. They/we are excited about Jesus' triumphal entry and celebrate what he can give them/us. The crowd shows us betraying him out of fear, selfish ambition, or lack of trust. It shows us turning on him when his ways of laying down power make us uncomfortable. It shows our incredible ability to be swayed by the crowd and our lack of faithfulness and trust. And it shows, through these verses in Matthew, that Jesus is longing for so much more: he doesn't want our empty praise. Our unfaithfulness doesn't control his love, and his forgiveness extends to us when we are literally at our worst. What he longs for, hopes for, and desires above all is for us to let him embrace us. To enter into a relationship with him that isn't just about us, isn't controlled by fear, and is total in commitment. He desires us to love him as he loves us. No conditions. No false flattery. No utilitarian motives.
And the amazing promise is that in offering us his life, this relationship with him, we have the hope of overcoming desolation and death. We are offered freedom from our addictions and fears. We are offered forgiveness for our unfaithfulness and betrayal. We are even offered a way of life that lives beyond all the raving inconsistencies of our world. He has promised to "give us life and life abundantly" if we will only come to him genuinely and humbly.
If we can do that, if we can say with pure intent, "Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord," we will "see him again." And we know this because as much as we have longed for others, so Jesus has longed for us.
May you have a wonderful Easter and find a way to reciprocate God's longing for you. Blessings and peace!
Trevor Owen
Pastor of Spiritual Formation
