Baby Steps Are Still Steps
We are now in the third week of 2023. I am not a fan of making resolutions at a designated time of the year, but I am a fan of renewal and working toward being the person Jesus created me to be. Each year the top resolutions are losing weight, getting organized, learning a new skill or hobby, saving more money/spending less, quitting smoking, and spending more time with family and friends. Those are all great goals, but what about forgiveness? Becoming the person Jesus created us to be requires forgiveness.
The attempt to forgive someone or being forgiven aren't things that should be addressed only at the beginning of each year, only to fade away in a few weeks. Reconciliation should be something we strive for, no matter the time commitment. The good news is change is possible. The Bible tells us that old things do pass away, and that forgiveness and conversion can and do happen. Forgiveness takes time. True forgiveness could take years, and we might stumble along the way, but baby steps are still steps.
Forgiveness is a commitment to change. Forgiveness means different things to different people, but it generally involves intentionally letting go of resentment and anger. It might even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy, and compassion for the one who hurt you. The act that hurt or offended you might always be with you but working on forgiveness can lessen that act’s grip on you. The best way to start the process of forgiveness is with prayer. Jesus emphasized the importance of forgiving our brothers and sisters and even forgiving our enemies. Forgiveness should be at the top of the Christian to-do list.
Matthew 6:14-15
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you. It also doesn't necessarily mean making up with the person who caused the harm. Although, forgiveness can bring peace that allows you to focus on yourself and helps you go on with life. Getting another person to change isn’t the point of forgiveness. It’s about focusing on what you can control. Think of forgiveness more about how it can change your life by bringing peace, happiness, and emotional and spiritual healing. Forgiveness can take away the power the other person continues to have in your life. Being hurt by someone, particularly someone you love and trust, can cause anger, sadness, and confusion. Grudges filled with resentment and hostility can take root if you dwell on hurtful events or situations.
Sometimes, the person isn't even aware of how much they have hurt you. When that happens, and you want to keep the relationship, it's important to remember all the good the person has done in your life. Every relationship you've ever been in requires some forgiveness to maintain itself. Everyone is flawed, and our perceptions are too. Occasional hurt and disappointment are inevitable, but we need to remember people aren’t replaceable. God wants us to forgive those that have hurt us so that the pain will stop. It's for our sake.
In contrast, there might be times in your life when you are the one who needs forgiveness. The first step is to assess and acknowledge your wrongs and how they have affected others. If you are truly sorry for something you have said or done and want forgiveness, consider reaching out to those you've harmed. Ask for forgiveness without making excuses. You can't force someone to forgive you. Others need to move to forgiveness in their own time. Forgiveness is a process of baby steps, and sometimes stumbling will occur. The good news is we have a Father who will always be there for those stumbles and will pick us up.
If you are someone who makes resolutions to kick off your new year, I support those goals. However, I pray that we put forgiveness at the top of the list, not only for January 1 but the other 364 days of the year.
Blessings,
Peggy Zumhofe
Executive Pastor
