What do you want to be?
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
That question never bothered me when I was a little kid, but as I got older and reality started to set in and my options narrowed, the question started to make me cringe. Honestly, I always thought I wanted to be famous. I grew up singing with my mom and sister, and I thought that meant I should sing professionally. (Plus, my audience of dolls all thought I was really good at singing and dancing to NCYNC’s “Bye Bye Bye.” What more confirmation did I need?) I started theater in middle school, so then I thought I would do musical theater professionally. Throughout the years, I toyed with the idea of being a writer, a psychologist, a teacher, and many more options.
As a sophomore in high school, I became obsessed with looking up where I would go to college. In-state? Out-of-state? What was the theater program like? What would I major in? What classes would I have to take for that major? Where in the country would I want to live? When I drove a car with an alumni sticker on it, would the mascot and school colors be something cool? That sounds ridiculous to me now, but it was seriously something I took into consideration. I liked to daydream of all the possibilities. I avoided thinking about the money it would take and what my grades would have to look like to get into whatever college fit my criteria.
When my dose of reality came in the form of dropping out of my two-year college (which, by the way, didn’t even have a mascot at the time), you might be able to imagine how disappointed I was in myself. My idea of success had become student loans and college graduation, where I gave a rousing speech a la Legally Blonde. In my mind, I had blown my opportunity to be successful. As if we have one shot at success.
I was thinking of my life as black and white. Every decision I had to make was high stakes because, to me, if I wasn’t moving forward, I was moving backward. I became complacent. I couldn’t solve the puzzle of life, so I gave up. And life just started happening around me, and I wasn’t fulfilled.
When the time came to decide whether I would move back to Tri-Cities from Northern Virginia, I put a lot of pressure on myself to consider everything and make “the right” choices.
But the Bible says this:
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
-Romans 8:28 NRSV
That verse reminds me that God will make it work out. It's not always yes or no, right, or wrong. If we make decisions prayerfully, God will work for our good. He is our supportive parent who makes sure we are where we are supposed to be, and we have everything we need to be successful.
With that perspective in mind, what weight does that lift from your shoulders? What pressure are you putting on yourself that God has already taken care of through His grace? How are you answering God’s calls for your life?
Have a blessed week knowing God will provide.
-Kelsey Wenrich
Community and Connections Coordinator