The ‘why’ below the surface

What are the core values you cherished the most growing up?

Growing up, I valued integrity, loyalty, and friendship. As good as those values are, I sometimes feel anxious about compromising them, leading me to worry about my behavior. I have to be careful to not let worrying about my behavior become more important than passionately following the values themselves. It is easy to focus more on our behavior than what really matters inside.

I see this when I am parenting my kids, and trying to instill what I know is essential for them to believe. Teaching them high values is very important. I want them to be good kids. I realize I have failed as a parent when I push hard on behaviors, not on core values. It can be easy to make my kids' behavior more important than what they actually value inside. If I do that to them or myself, it can push them toward being a hypocrite.

One example of this is Saul of Tarsus. He was a Hebrew, a descendant of the tribe of Benjamin. He became a devoted expert of the law and had a zeal for the traditions of his ancestors. However, Saul lost focus on his purpose and calling. He became more focused more on obeying the law than obeying God through the law. He was entirely focused on his behaviors and missed what God wanted for his heart. 

After a life-altering encounter with Jesus, Saul's entire focus was changed, along with his name, which became Paul. In his letter to Galatia, Paul tells about the mistake of being focused more on his behavior than truth. 

"For you have heard of my previous way of life in Judaism, how intensely I persecuted the church of God and tried to destroy it.  I was advancing in Judaism beyond many of my own age among my people and was extremely zealous for the traditions of my fathers.  But when God, who set me apart from my mother's womb and called me by his grace, was pleased  to reveal his Son in me so that I might preach him among the Gentiles, my immediate response was not to consult any human being." Galatians 1:13-16

Saul's is a testimony of how someone can lose focus on their true calling, regardless of a good upbringing. I've learned that we (personally and as parents) can lose focus on what is really important when we direct our attention only on behaviors rather than the motives behind them. 

From God's perspective, our outward appearance is not as important as what's in our hearts. As Paul explains, what he used to value most in his behavior is now considered garbage compared to the value he found in Christ. He reminds us that it is the focus and passion of our hearts that really matters. Paul teaches us that we can lose focus trying to be righteous in our own strength, but when we have a personal encounter with Christ, we will see clearly what our mission is.

This understanding of what is truly important also helps me as a parent. I realize my job as a parent is not that I do everything right while raising my kids, but that I do the right things through God. I need to focus on my own example as a parent, so my kids will imitate me as I imitate Christ.

This idea actually brings me comfort as I think about my parenting. As a parent, I realize I need to focus on my kids' spiritual life and their core values rather than only their behaviors. If I can give them a strong foundation in Christ, they will learn to grow in his grace, and I can worry less about their actions. At times, they will misbehave as they grow, but that isn't as important as their heart. In fact, with solid values, they can use the mistakes they make to learn. 

God does this with our mistakes if our hearts are focused on him. He is always working on a bigger plan for our lives. He used all that Saul had worked hard on all of his life and refocused him, giving him a bigger mission in His Kingdom. 

Like Saul, God has unique ways of teaching us lessons and refocusing us back to Him to send us on His mission. I can see through teaching my kids what really matters, and what God is working on in me. If we get our hearts and values in line and are a little less worried about our behaviors, His grace can manifest in our lives. That will actually help us, and our children, grow into maturity.

Blessings, 

Grimelda Sanchez

Associate Pastor